Reader Interaction

 Here's where I interact with my readers:

Reader: i am a woman and i find it sickening how you make fun of sissy. is that all you can think of to write about is making fun of her? men like you are the reason i hate men. you better be careful or ill steal sissy away from you, you piece of shit!

Me: The "shift" key is the little one down on the left side that says "shift." When you push it while typing it capitalizes letters, retard.

Reader: i know exactly where the shift key is and im not using it on purpose because i know how much it drives you crazy. i can see it works great you little dildo.

Me: Nice try covering your stupidity, but only a retard or meth addict can't or won't capitalize (or use proper punctuation) - I'm betting you're both. Oh yeah, also I don't communicate with homos.

Reader: i want you know that i just sent multiple emails to other people and i capitalized and used proper punctuation in them all - they were perfect

Me: I know that's a lie, because you're not even smart enough to put in a period on that last comment. I dare you to do a sentence with both capitalization and punctuation.

Reader: i so easily could but i wont because you told me to

Me: Either comment correctly or stop emailing me. I'm serious.

Reader: what

Me: Is that supposed to be a question? 

Reader: huh

Me: Is that like "yes?" 

Reader: que pasa

Me: That does it, quit emailing me. 

Reader: brcktaz

Me: That's not even a word. I pray to God that your whole family gets crushed by a falling piano. 

Reader: r

Me: You are hereby banned for life.

Reader: .

Me: Too late.